Friday, July 09, 2004

 

Thursday, July 08, 2004

 
Here's Your Bushism
Putting the "mal" in malapropism

Bush does OK today in his attempts at Spanglish. But he makes one hilarious misstatement:
[T]oo many children in America have been just shuffled through the system without learning essential schools.
He's probably thinking of Harvard, Yale, Stanford... Northwestern...

- Marc
 
Drip, Drip...
Bush spends $8 million in N.C.

The decision to tap Edwards as Kerry’s running mate has already cost Bush $8 million, according to the AP. The embattled prez is rolling out a huge ad campaign in Edwards’ home state.

Yes, you read that right. Staunchly Republican in recent years, North Carolina is already being treated as a battleground state. One shudders (or cackles with glee, depending on partisan stripes) to consider how the likeable Southern Democrat might impact states that were actually close to begin with.

Surely Gep would have had the same effect, right? Right? Anyone? New York Post?

- Marc
 
He Can Be Taught!
Kerry yuks it up, post-Edwards

Bush is funny, we've been told again and again. I don't see it, but OK.

Kerry is dour and humorless, we're told again and again.

How about this?

"John and I have a lot in common," Kerry told an overflow crowd in a sweltering Fort Lauderdale aircraft hangar. "He's a lawyer, I'm a lawyer. His name is John. My name is John. He was named "People" magazine's sexiest man of the year. I read "People" magazine."
See? Funny! That's a good start.

- Marc
 
We've Got a Prez Like a Hoover
It's not just the economy, stupid

Bush isn't just the first president since Hoover to lose jobs under his watch. Y'see, he's also the first president since Hoover never to attend an NAACP convention (via Kevin Drum).

But don't worry. Bush isn't racist.

"I believe that people whose skins aren't necessarily -- are a different color than white can self-govern," he said April 30.

Reassuring words from the same leader who felt it necessary to point out that the U.S. doesn't condone torture.

And to think we innocents used to be able to take a few things for granted in this world...

- Marc
 
Desperate Illinois Republicans Left, On Two, Break!

As if hellbent on proving that they're a complete joke, members of a 527 affiliated with the Illinois Republican Party are reportedly trying to draft Mike Ditka as a replacement Senate candidate.

In case you've forgotten, the previous candidate, millionaire-slash-volunteer-teacher Jack Ryan dropped out of the race after his unsealed divorce records included his ex-wife's allegations of his attempts to get her into kinky sex clubs. Or, in the ex-candidate's own words, an "avant garde nightclub." His ex-wife is Jeri Lynn (aka "that android chick from Star Trek" or "that blond chick on Boston Public... by the way, is that piece of crap really still on the air"). The kinky sex clubs were in New Orleans, NYC and Paris.

In case you've forgotten, Ditka is "Da Coach," the overrated leader of the indestructable Super Bowl champion 1985 Chicago Bears. Why, with that defense, they couldn't win any more? Well, vote this knucklehead in and we just might find out.

--Fritz

Wednesday, July 07, 2004

 
Eat My Dimpled Chads
This is only a poll, yada yada...

Rasmussen. Florida. Numbers:

Kerry 48 (46)
Bush 43 (46)

(Trend from June 8)

And no, we're not quite sure what our headline means, either.

Update: These numbers are pre-Edwards. Holy shiat.

- Marc
 
Shooting Himself in the Foot
Josh Benson overthinks the Edwards effect

Writing for The New Republic, Josh Benson raises an interesting question:
So the voters who count on November 2 don't much pay attention to the vice president, have few rooted political beliefs, and get most of their information from TV. Essentially, when it comes to the vice president, all they see is a face. Isn't it a good thing, Edwards supporters might suggest, that it's a pretty face?
In a word: YES, you ignorant slut.

Benson thinks he's being cleverily contrarian. The Washington "chattering classes" like Edwards for all the wrong reasons, he posits. Johnny's sunshine won't transfer over to the swing voters who barely follow politics at all.

Um, where was Benson in 2000? It's the meta-messages of the chattering classes (Bob Somerby's "scripts") that inform the limited impressions of those very swing voters! People didn't think Al Gore was dishonest because he necessarily was, or because he came across as dishonest in his ads. It's because that meme filtered down through their TVs, their co-workers and neighbors. Where did that meme originate? The chattering classes!

If the chattering classes exude excitement about a candidate -- and, further, if that candidate exudes excitement of his own -- these people will pick up on it, as well. Call it "trickle-down politics."

And, failing that, maybe the swing voters will pull the lever for Edwards because he's got a nice smile. What's to overthink about a pretty face? If you're Josh Benson, apparently everything.

- Marc

Tuesday, July 06, 2004

 
It's Edwards!
That Matt Drudge is full of shit

Hillary Clinton is still in New York. Gephardt is still being boring.

But John Edwards is John Kerry's running mate.

Hallelujah! As Disinformation General Drudge himself would say, "Developing..."

Update: Look who else was full of shit!

- Marc

Monday, July 05, 2004

 
The Joy of Google, Continued
Political porn-seekers converge on lowly blog!

Someone found whopundit today with the following Google query:

Nancy + Reagan + blowjobs

Yuck. The Internet is for porn, indeed.

- Marc
 
Failure Is Victory, Redux
Is this war meant to be won? Ask Orwell

Yesterday was not Bush's Independence Day from tortured reasoning. His mouth, it seems, is a twisted Abu Ghraib for the truth:
[Our enemies] know that time is against them, and their only chance is to shake the resolve of Iraqis, Americans, anybody else who loves freedom. And that's why their actions have grown more cruel and sadistic.
Of course, as we reported, Bush and his cronies have been saying the same thing for more than a year.

Bush's speech yesterday also calls Afghanistan a "rising democracy." Yet its elections keep getting postponed. And the Taliban still thrives, nearly killing a mayor today.

So if the terrorists keep getting more desperate because they're about to lose (and have been about to lose for more than a year), shouldn't they have lost by now? I thought we were going to "smoke 'em out."

Who's really desperate here, George?

- Marc

Sunday, July 04, 2004

 
He Hate Me
Eyebrows? Totally overrated

Scuttlebutt suggests Gephardt is the man.

Well, my passion for politics would have to be short-lived, wouldn't it? Go U Northwestern!

- Marc
 
Matthew Yglesias Blows My Mind
Key votes, chunks of cerebrum land Democratic

Why are school vouchers bad? Many reasons, but Matthew Yglesias hits upon one that you can sell to the supposedly values-minded swing voters of "Middle America":
Does the right really want a country in which immigrant parents live in immigrant neighborhoods and send their to ethno-religiously segregated private schools at public expense? Some elements probably do, but others could be attracted by the notion that only real public schools can help build the civic identity whose continued existence is vital for the continued viability of the American project.
Take that, Karl Rove!

- Marc
 
A Strong Dowd
Come on, Maureen, I swear what I mean...

Small-government Republicans have big-government schemes to reverse the 1960s, the New York Times columnist writes.

(The 1960s, in case you've forgotten, was a decade when the civil rights, women's rights and even the early gay rights movement helped this country fulfill the promise set forth on this day more than 200 years ago.)

Here's the best part:
The Bushes and Republicans recoiled at Mr. Clinton's moral relativism about Monica, but this administration indulged in a far more dangerous relativism when it misled the American public about Iraq's W.M.D., and links between Saddam and Al Qaeda.
All right, so maybe Republicans don't care about hypocrisy. Nevertheless: Damn, baby.

- Marc
 
     

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