Friday, January 21, 2005

Howard Stern Victorious

Does this mean that Dr. Rice's kid gets the FCC chairman job? Is that how this works? It's been so long that I forget the way we do these things.


Tuesday, January 18, 2005

This Just In: Condi Rice Thinks She Still Has Integrity!

A testy exchange from today's hearings, with Ms. Rice getting hot under the collar when Senator Boxer "suggested that in 2003 Rice contradicted President Bush's comments on illicit Iraqi weapons, then contradicted her own positions in her remarks today."

"Senator, I'm happy to continue the discussion, but I'd like to do it in such a way that it does not impugn my integrity,"

Where is that danged integrity, anyway? Maybe she needs to join her husb... I mean, the president in looking under his desk and behind the curtains in the Oval Office. I mean, if the WMDs aren't there, maybe that danged integrity is.

Tuesdays With Brooksy

I love hearing what conservative commentators like David Brooks and Robert Novak think about what the Democratic congressional strategy should be or how to pick a DNC chairman, don't you?

They're full of advice about how Dems can build support and strength, and, lo and behold, it's to be whiter-shade-of-pale Republican toadies. Now, when the re-education camps crank up on Thursday afternoon, they'll probably right. Getting in line is probably the best way to keep those toothpicks out of your eyes and make the Ludovico treatment stop.

But until that time, while I can, I have a word of advice to Dave and Bob about how to operate their Levitra-needing selves. Eat shit and die.

A Wee Tip From Your Uncle Fritz

Here's my plan for the next four years, kiddo. Whenever these pricks says something, assume that the opposite is true, because in all likelihood they're lying to your face. You'll be closer to the truth on everything.

When they say black is white, assume that black is, in fact, black.

When they say up is down, don't listen to them. Up is up.

When their math comes up with 2+2=5, know that it equals four.


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