whopundit

2005-08-31T13:04:00.000-05:00

Holy Crap
Look, ma!

Marc Hogan in New York Times

Garage Rock Meets Garage Critics

...Pitchfork steps up to the plate with a rigorous rating system, serious (if idiosyncratic) critical standards and a roster of 40 or so talented young writers.

In a current review of "Love Kraft," by the Super Furry Animals, the writer, Marc Hogan, gives the record an 8.5 - so precise, those rockists - and in his rave goes over the top and stays there to very nice effect.

"Whatever its etymology, Love Kraft is a utopian epic, a sweeping musical argument for love in the time of Fallujah," he writes. "In that sense, it's vintage S.F.A., with even its departures underscoring the band's long-established strengths. The leftist politics are less overt, but just as potent; the compositions more focused, but still mad as a Lewis Carroll hatter; the pop more rockin', yet probably more accessible to noobs."

Whatever noobs are. Maybe a smaller, cuddlier version of newbies?

But then, that is part of the point. The Web is a place where tribe is built and serviced by likeminded folks who thrive on the insiderness of it all. There is a common language, common values and a belief that whatever obsession is being serviced, it is the right one to have.

2005-06-22T10:43:00.000-05:00

The Illinois-based editors of Whopundit have come into possession of a rough draft of Senator Durbin's recently read apology. Okay, we didn't come into possession of it. We found it in the garbage outside the Senator's Chicago offices while were looking for old banana peels that we could freeze-dry and smoke. A 6th-grader told us it can get you really high. Does anyone know if that's true?

Oh, anyway, here's the document:

Dick Durbin's Apology: Rough Draft #1

"Dear Members of Congress and my fellow Americans:

"The other day I said that the treatment of some prisoners at Guantamo Bay was bad. And then I read from an FBI report in which an agent recounted what he or she saw there. And then I said you would never think that this was something that Americans could do to prisoners. I also said that this sounded like the treatment that terrible regimes did to their prisoners, not something that an American could do. Do you follow me so far? (Or do you think otherwise? Are you not shocked by what I read?) I also said, regrettably, that this sounded like the sort of treatment of prisoners you would expect of some terrible regime like the Soviets, Pol Pot, or, again, regrettably, Nazis.

"So, now I've come to my apology.

"I'm sorry that all those people who got upset are so upset. To each of you upset, I say now: I'm sorry that the American educational system has so completely failed you in your ability to understand a nuanced point, much less be able to spell or define the word nuance. I'm also sorry for your inability to comprehend why whoever okayed this prisoner treatment made terrible decisions to allow America to squander the moral ideals we, supposedly, hold. That would be from the Civics classes you slept through, Chucklehead.

"In the future, starting right now, I promise to work my hardest to figure cut a way to pull America out of this morass of utter stupidity. I'll work harder to increase the reasoning ability of Americans, because a house with this kind of mental deficiency cannot stand.

"Okay, now was that too fast for you nincompoops? Do you need me to say it again slower?"

-- Fritz

2005-05-07T21:10:00.000-05:00

See This Movie
Funny Ha Ha

marnie: i don't -- i don't know -- it's hard -- i don't know what i would say. it's hard to know.

mitchell: well, if it's not hypothetical then? marnie, i --

marnie: ok, ok, no no no, i mean, you're, i, i'm not, uh, i think, i mean i'm having a great time tonight and i hope we can do this again, but i think, not because of you but for reasons pertaining to, uh, me, think it's not a good idea for me to --

mitchell: ok.

marnie: ...see you romantically at this juncture.

mitchell: no no no, heh, that's fine.

marnie: i'm sorry.

mitchell: no, jeez, don't apologize, because i think you actually handled that very well and i apologize for putting you in a -- an awkward, uh, position, heh, again. you know it's --

marnie: no no no.

mitchell: ...promise it's the last time i'll ask.

website here

- m

2005-02-25T15:32:00.000-06:00

The Question Must Be Asked

An interesting win-win proposal was raised in this week's Jonathan Alter Newsweek column about Miller and Cooper's travails with Special Prosecutor Fitzgerald and the who-finked-Valerie-Plame-and-Joe-Wilson question.

"[Novak] has told CNN that he will walk off the set if he is asked about it."

Now I can't think of one decent reason for a guest not to ask this doddering a-hole this question. You might not get asked back, but aren't they going to cancel this cesspool of a show anyway? Maybe if you ask it really rudely and point your finger (it is Crossfire, after all, and no one will think you especially rude), he might just retire!

--Fritz

2005-02-25T15:00:00.000-06:00

Can Sex Ever Be A Part of a Legitimate Story

I've been reading a little more on Gannon/Guckert. Apparently the CW in more legit circles confirms that, in fact, this is no biggie and anyone who thinks about it is probably looking at thinly veiled homophobia.

Maybe I'm weird here, but I still think there's a big difference between men having sex with men, and men having sex with men for money. Isn't Gannon/Guckert's preferential treatment--e.g. his perpetual day pass plan--and his past/present/future as a prostitute at least a little bit interesting? Aren't you curious as to how he came to be involved in GOPUSA/Talon and got such a sweet gig just like that? What if it was as a result of some form of blackmail? What if Gannon/Guckert were more inclined to favor Islamofascism than just good ol' Texas-style fascism? Man, that would have sucked that he has that mid-to-high level White House "connection," eh?

Can sex never be cause for interest in a story without being salacious? What if sex is the motivator of the actors involved in the story, and drives a story about something, but is not a mere distraction? What if George Bush has an affair with another world leader's wife, or another world leader (hey, it worked for Caesar)? And what if this launches us toward a military engagement? Or toward peace? Wouldn't that be interesting?

Here in Chicago, a plugged-in developer got a sweetheart deal in which he pays exactly no taxes or utilities on his rental of a facility based in the city's spanking new Millennium Park (which debuted in 2004). Oh, and he also impregnated one of the officials who approved this sweetheart deal. Isn't that interesting? Wouldn't you like to know how this plugged-in developer came to plug into this official? What if I told you that this developer was a prostitute with no discernable developing experience (which he's not, as far as I know)? Wouldn't that make you, oh, I don't know, even MORE interested in this story even though there's nothing gay about it?

Maybe this isn't a big deal in Washington because everyone there, on both sides of the aisle, 1) is already married to each other, 2) has affairs with everyone else, and 3) hires prostitutes like it's going of style. A former(?) prostitute, now affiliated with a highly partisan faux-news website, and with no discernible writing experience (much less journalistic) gets to sit in the press room everyday and ask highly partisan questions every once in a while. How'd he come to get this sweetheart gig? Beats me.

Golly, now that's a snoozer.
--Fritz

2005-02-24T09:49:00.000-06:00

Cryin' 'Boo!'

Finally (finally!) conservatives favoritest, hungriest, blondest fascist writer in all the world has something to say about conservatives favoritest, baldest, male prostitute who ever asked the president or one of his employees a blowjob question in a press conference.

Sayeth Ann Coulter:

The heretofore-unknown Jeff Gannon of the heretofore-unknown "Talon News" service was caught red-handed asking friendly questions at a White House press briefing. Now the media is hot on the trail of a gay escort service that Gannon may have run some years ago. Are we supposed to like gay people now, or hate them? Is there a Web site where I can go to and find out how the Democrats want me to feel about gay people on a moment-to-moment basis?

Liberals keep rolling out a scrolling series of attacks on Gannon for their Two Minutes Hate, but all their other charges against him fall apart after three seconds of scrutiny. Gannon's only offense is that he may be gay.

Just goes to show you the crocodile tears these fools are spitting, trying to come up with any way to throw off the scent of this classically juicy Washington scandal (with all elements: power, sex, secrets, denials). Last time I checked, prostitution was still illegal in most of America, regardless of what the orientation of the sex you are having. Or maybe Ann doesn't think that it's such a big deal to prostitute one's self out, provided the payment is in cash.

Ann, we've already established what you are. Now we're just haggling about the price.

I actually wouldn't be surprised if Jeff Gannon isn't even gay, and frankly couldn't give two shits. Plenty of straight men have worked as male escorts and have had sex with men for money. The story isn't really even about Jeff Gannon--he's merely the public face of an unanswered question. Who's Jeff's benefactor inside the White House?

Here's a scenario--not outlandish--that could easily explain how Jeff Gannon got those perpetual daily passes: Jeff is hired by WH Staffer X for some conjugal comfort on a cold Washington evening; Jeff, the classic prostitute-with-a-heart of gold has always wanted to be a journalist; depending on their relationship, Jeff blackmails/uses his newfound connections with WH Staffer X to score a gig with GOPUSA outta Texas, using the perpetual day pass system. Networking.

Now this, even, wouldn't be all that big of a deal if the use of the perpetual day pass system was something that other legit journalists were entitled to. But by all accounts, getting a perpetual day pass (for non-prostitute journalists, this usually comes in the form of "permanent press credentials") is quite hard. Plenty of real, live journalists have been denied this access.

Doesn't it seem like a reasonable question to ask who's pulling the strings for a prositute to enable him to sit in the White House press room, ask questions of the president, allegely receive access to feloniously distributed information about CIA operatives, scoop major news organizations on declarations of war, and lord knows what else? Sure seems like it to me. Guess that means I must hate gay people. Damn.

--Fritz

2005-02-14T09:53:00.000-06:00

No THAT'S Interesting

This is a serious wow! I mean, I know that no one ever got poor playing to the stupidity of the American public, and all, but what about the American press. Should they really be so stupid?

Should someone have, y'know, noticed that two photographs of nuclear facilities in two countries thousands of miles apart are, in fact, of the same thing before publishing it? Or, perhaps, this is just proof that there is a nefarious Kim-Ayatollah architect link not unlike the nefarious Osama-Saddam sous chef link. To war! I wonder if that's the same photo of the Iraqi "nuclear facility" too.
Fritz

2005-02-08T11:42:00.000-06:00

Sentencing

Folks, please note that this is not satire. This is a real answer to what I believe is an America needs, and it's damned simple to explain. I propose capital punishment for the most heinous white collar crimes.

Now, I'd probably be more supportive of my own proposal if I thought capital punishment were ever really a good idea, or if it really did act as a deterrent to people contemplating committing crime, or if I could be assured that, y'know, it was being implemented fairly, and that no innocent people were in danger of murder by chimpanzee governors and their troglodytic counsel.

If all this were possible to ignore, or if you believe that executing criminals does truly scare people from committing crimes, or if you simply don't care one way or the other and want revenge, then what could be bad or harmful about executing executives who steal fortunes, manipulate markets, bilk stockholders, shuffle debts and profits, illegally ship jobs overseas, accept bribes, and the like?

I'm not talking about Martha Stewart-sized crimes of tens of thousands of dollars. That's petty theft, frankly, and she seems to have gotten the business end of a relatively easy case to prosecute against a big old celebrity name, and insider trading isn't what I'm after anyway.

No, what I'm talking about are the shysters like WorldCom's Ebbers and Tyco' Kozlowski and Skilling and Kenny Boy over at Enron. Ebbers was intimately involved in a fraud of $11 billion. Enron's flimflammery resulted in thousands of employees being conned out of their retirements, and power customers in California no doubt died due to a falsified power outage (This is not hard to believe, as people die due to power outages all the time from lost A/C, traffic accidents, etc.). These are real lives lost due to corporate actions, undertaken in the most extreme of bad faith. Can you name one reason why these folks who engineered these bad faith policies, upon being convicted of crimes, deserve anything besides the Christian wrath of a governor or, if it's the Feds, the president himself? Using the arguments of the pro-death penalty crowd (this is payback for harming people, and, besides, it will act to deter followers from purusing the same bad actions), quite simply, I can see none.

--Fritz

2005-02-01T17:29:00.000-06:00

Jesus Christ!

If you want to read a really depressing story, have at this doozy.

Basically, teachers don't want to teach evolution because the dumb-as-rocks parents of dumb-as-post pupils think that it's wrong, though they just loved Jurassic Park 2 and have worn out the VHS tape of it. It's probably only a matter of time before kids have to know that evolution is demonic to pass their No Child Left Behind tests (remember, you can't spell "No Child Left Behind" without "Left Behind"

Luis Lugo, director of the Pew Forum on Religion and Public Life:

"For political reasons nobody will do a survey among randomly selected public school children and parents to ask just what is being taught in science classes."

Maybe it's time to find that sort of thing out, eh?

--Fritz

2005-01-21T13:33:00.000-06:00

Howard Stern Victorious

Does this mean that Dr. Rice's kid gets the FCC chairman job? Is that how this works? It's been so long that I forget the way we do these things.

--Fritz

2005-01-18T17:09:00.000-06:00

This Just In: Condi Rice Thinks She Still Has Integrity!

A testy exchange from today's hearings, with Ms. Rice getting hot under the collar when Senator Boxer "suggested that in 2003 Rice contradicted President Bush's comments on illicit Iraqi weapons, then contradicted her own positions in her remarks today."

"Senator, I'm happy to continue the discussion, but I'd like to do it in such a way that it does not impugn my integrity,"

Where is that danged integrity, anyway? Maybe she needs to join her husb... I mean, the president in looking under his desk and behind the curtains in the Oval Office. I mean, if the WMDs aren't there, maybe that danged integrity is.

--Fritz

2005-01-18T14:35:00.000-06:00

Tuesdays With Brooksy

I love hearing what conservative commentators like David Brooks and Robert Novak think about what the Democratic congressional strategy should be or how to pick a DNC chairman, don't you?

They're full of advice about how Dems can build support and strength, and, lo and behold, it's to be whiter-shade-of-pale Republican toadies. Now, when the re-education camps crank up on Thursday afternoon, they'll probably right. Getting in line is probably the best way to keep those toothpicks out of your eyes and make the Ludovico treatment stop.

But until that time, while I can, I have a word of advice to Dave and Bob about how to operate their Levitra-needing selves. Eat shit and die.

--Fritz

2005-01-18T13:43:00.000-06:00

A Wee Tip From Your Uncle Fritz

Here's my plan for the next four years, kiddo. Whenever these pricks says something, assume that the opposite is true, because in all likelihood they're lying to your face. You'll be closer to the truth on everything.

When they say black is white, assume that black is, in fact, black.

When they say up is down, don't listen to them. Up is up.

When their math comes up with 2+2=5, know that it equals four.

--Fritz

2005-01-07T14:03:00.000-06:00

Tucker's Out

The big news in mediaville is that Tucker Carlson, the schoolboyish host of the infuriating-slash-boring "CNN: Crossfire" has been sacked.

Whopundit sources in CNN's Atlanta HQ and Chocolate City corridors have gained access to a top-secret memo on Tucker's replacement. Click here for the scoop.

--Fritz

2004-12-28T16:30:00.000-06:00

'A Keyes Family Christmastide'
Not just the name of a future Whopundit feature film

- marc

2004-12-14T17:12:00.000-06:00

Congratulations, Georgie Boy!

Ladies and gentleman: your Presidential Medal of Freedom winner:

Remember, you can't smell "the stench" without T-E-N-E-T.

--Fritz

2004-12-08T17:13:00.000-06:00

Breaking News!

Lou Dobbs is actually named Floppy-Jowl Orangutan-Hair. Or, at least, that's his Indian name. Only his native heritage could possibly explain why he's run at least one anti-illegal immigration story per day for as long as anyone can remember.

The weird thing is that his show is actually good otherwise. But, c'mon, how much longer can this go on?

--Fritz

2004-11-23T17:30:00.000-06:00

Or Does It End With a Whimper?

I wish that I could say, "Big Up Yo'self, Elisabeth!" considering Elisabeth Bumiller's skin-of-her-teeth victory in the NY Press's Wimblehack single-elimination tournament of the worst presidential pundits from sea to shining sea.

But unfortunately, the uninspiring win came on a bit of technicality: Howard Fineman, the hacktacular competition, forgot to show up. Maybe he read the photocopied league schedule wrong.

But regardless, as my high school baseball coach would have told me if we would have won more than two games: a win is a win is a win. May you get all that's coming to you, Elisabeth.

--Fritz

2004-11-23T09:55:00.001-06:00

Brooksy Just Won't Let It Go

Mr. David is apparently still pissed that his book isn't selling well:

So the Republican win may actually mean less one-party dominance. Which would conform to my general approach to life: that everything turns out to be the opposite from what you expect.

Let it go, man. Let it go.

--Fritz

2004-11-11T16:50:00.000-06:00

So it Is

Oh, Jesus.

P.S. dailykos/dailykos
P.P.S. Thank Kos!

--Fritz

2004-11-09T16:03:00.000-06:00

Why Don't You Come Here and Say It To Our Faces

I've been hearing a lot of blather coming from Republican quarters, talking 'bout how they represent the real 'Merica and how the Democrats are just a bunch of pansy-ass Upper West Siders and knock-kneed Hollywood types.

I dare you to come to true-blue Chicago and say that to our faces, ya hayseeds.

--Fritz

2004-11-09T13:39:00.000-06:00

I'm So Gonna Kick Your Ass... In Six Months!
Stay Here 'Til Then, 'M 'K?

From Fred Kaplan's invaluable War Stories column, yesterday:

It is no coincidence that the [Falluja] offensive was launched shortly after our own presidential election. Given President George W. Bush's rosy campaign rhetoric about freedom on the march and Vice President Dick Cheney's assurances that things in Iraq were going "surprisingly well," a sudden escalation of the war—especially if heavy casualties, American ones, ensued—might have dimmed their prospects at the polls.

Isn't this a, like, total abuse of power to favor a political impulse? If we needed to go in Falluja, and we did, then why wait and give the shithead insurgents time to plant boobytraps and perfect their ambush plans for when the pawns, oh, excuse me, American soldiers, finally arrive? Why did we wait so long?

--Fritz

2004-11-09T11:10:00.000-06:00

A Correction

A WaPo story sez the vaunted/derided youth vote was an even bigger turnout than Whopundit had been led to believe! Go on with your bad self, Jose Antonio Vargas, for this little CW-buster:

"Here's where it gets confusing: Because overall turnout was high, the percent of the youth vote was almost the same as 2000. But percentages can hide as much as they reveal. In figures used by CIRCLE, the youth vote in 2000 made up 16.4 percent of the total, translating to about 16.2 million votes. In 2004, the the youth vote made up 18.4 percent, translating to about 20.9 million votes. That's a jump of 4.6 million, says CIRCLE, and a jump in overall turnout, too. More than 51 percent of citizens ages 18 to 29 voted. In 2000, it was 42.3 percent."

But c'mon, is that really so confusing as to require the after-election pack to feast on young people's continuing alleged apathy, even when they increased turnout and were quite active? Or is this more a case of old journalists sticking to their baby-boom reared instinct that no generation can ever be as politically atuned as theirs?

Young people got out the vote AND voted for Kerry AND saved Latin. What did you ever do?

--Fritz

2004-11-05T14:13:00.000-06:00

Trend-setters

I've noticed at least two trends following this past Tuesday night, or, well, erm, actually Wednesday afternoon.

The first is an attempt to unfairly blame a lack of "youth vote" for Kerry's loss. Usually this is in the form of chalking up Kerry's loss to a just-didn't-turn-out throwing up of hands. Sometimes this is based on a cursory look at the unchanged voter-percentage statistics: in 2000, 17% of voters were in this 18-29 demo; in 2004, again, it's 17%. However, there were 15 million more voters in 2004 than in 2000, meaning that there were 2.5 million more of these young voters this election year. That's no small number. And when you consider that a significant number of these voters registered in the very first election of their lives (if it's their first election, these voters were not "returning voters" and were not on rolls before, as most older voters likely are, and had to registered from scratch), this is even less reason for the old trope that young people are hopelessly apathetic and nihilistic. In fact, I believe that this young generation is just the opposite. It is full of vigor and ready to tackle the issues that face our country: they voted Kerry. The nihilists are all of the old people who abandoned the Democratic party and voted Bush because they're convinced that he makes us safe. That's bullshit, straight up, and we young people know it.

Other times, as with this Wolf Blitzer Reports piece, it comes in the form of simple misreading and horribly unprofessional jumbling of facts. The reporter Brian Todd says, in a throwaway line from a piece about the admittedly inept celebrity endorsement game, "Even the credit celebrities get for attracting new voters may be negligible. For all of P. Diddy's 'Vote or Die' rhetoric targeting the youth vote, only 17 percent of people between the ages of 18 and 29 actually went to the polls this year, the same percentage as in 2000."

What he means is that only 17% of all voters were between 18 and 29, same as in 2000. But whatever. This was a chance to take a potshot at both celebrity and young people who likely don't watch CNN anyway, and they took it truth be damned.

The other trend I've noticed is a rather hostile attitude from Republicans or at least Bush supporters toward those who advocated against the president. The essence of this is that of "Bush won, you suck."

Eric Alterman's "Altercation" blog on MSNBC broke down their angry emails into three categories: "the CAPS LOCK crew," " bible thumpers/value voters who were overjoyed that biblical values were finally coming back into vogue," and " the simply indignant."

Richard Roeper, who expressed himself not in the thumbs-up-thumbs-down dualist format that is his customary to his television job, but rather in the big-city-tabloid column format that is his primary employment, gave 50 reasons to vote against Bush. On Wednesday, his inbox, too, felt the brunt of the victorious in their gloating. "Your party lost, bitch. Get used to it," was, frankly, the most coherent of his letters.

Now, I have a question. Republicans have again sent a president to the White House, and control both house of congress. What on Earth are they still so angry about?

My Psych 101 analysis is that, for the most part, Republicans believe most strongly in not being Democrats. They obviously don't care about fiscal conservativism or empiricism, which at some point, seemed to be important to them. So what are Republicans all about then? What does their mandate mean (besides, of course, hating Democrats, fags, Michael Moore, abortions and Massachusetts)? I have no clue. But I'm sure it ain't gonna be pretty.

--Fritz

2004-11-04T13:44:00.000-06:00

What Would Jesus Do?

How much you wanna bet this guy voted for Bush absentee in Ohio?

--Fritz

2004-11-02T07:15:00.000-06:00

Just Voted

Feels good.

We shall overcome.

2004-10-20T06:52:00.000-05:00

Scaredy Cats

Great news from Honest Bill Safire:

Courage and freedom will win, and the purveyors of panic will lose.

Meanwhile, via the AP:

Vice President Dick Cheney on Tuesday raised the possibility of terrorists bombing U.S. cities with nuclear weapons and questioned whether Sen. John Kerry could combat such an "ultimate threat ... you've got to get your mind around."

2004-10-08T11:49:00.000-05:00

Unsolved Mysteries... Solved!

Dan Froomkin over at washingtonpost.com unearthed the modern Rosetta Stone that unlocks one of the great mysteries of our age: What is in the hell is George Bush talking about?

The key, children, is two simple words: "of course."

Here's a debate-watching tip: Perk up your ears every time President Bush says "of course" tonight. Because if recent history is a guide, what's coming is a statement that his supporters might find obvious, but that his critics might consider a whopper.

Go on, read the compiliation of hits from Debate 1. It's guaranteed to put some hair on your chest.

--Fritz

2004-10-05T09:55:00.000-05:00

Rascally Rabbit

An interesting piece by Amy Sullivan in TNR wonders a Washington heresy aloud: Why doesn't the President go to church?

The best that anyone seems to come up with is from David Aikman, author of A Man of Faith: The Spiritual Journey of George W. Bush:

Aikman pressed on by "intuit[ing]" Bush's faith and presenting as evidence of the president's deep spiritual commitment his fondness for carrots and jogging.

So "compassionate conservativism" is based on the proclivities of rabbits? Who knew?

--Fritz

2004-10-01T09:52:00.000-05:00

Poles Sitting?

Now that Poland is this huge American ally in the War on Terror, how come they weren't invited to the N. Korea anti-nuke talks? I mean, if Japan, Russia, S. Korea and all the rest are at the table, shouldn't we Poland be there? What about POLAND!

Fritz

UPDATE, Oct. 4: Whopundit has obtained this exclusive excerpt from official White House transcripts:

GB: "What did Kwasniewski do? Even after I stuck up for all those Poles at the debate like that? Looks like I picked the wrong week to stop sniffing glue."

2004-10-01T09:44:00.000-05:00

The Post-Debate Debate

Last night's debate was quite a sight to behold, and I think that most viewers agreed that Kerry seemed poised and in possession of massive knowledge of the national security issue (ports, police, first responders, internationalism-Poland-notwithstanding).

But of course, as we all learned in the pre-game, the major story about wouldn't be known until after the debate ended and the post-game chatterers chattered.

Well, now.

From Ryan Lizza in TNR: Rove tries out a line: "It was one of the president's better debate performances and one of Kerry's worst." Vince Morris of The New York Post stares at Rove and asks, "Can you say that with a straight face?"

And, that, you'll be careful to notice, is from the NY Post.

--Fritz

2004-09-23T14:10:00.000-05:00

Flipping the Script

Remember a few weeks ago when everyone was marvelling at the balls-out, attack-the-strength tactical move on Kerry's Vietnam service? The consensus was that the Swifties were classic Rove, and that it basically left Kerry impotent, with nothing to talk about, since Iraq was clearly Bush's wheel-house. It seems that Rove is not the sole owner and proprietor of this method of strength-attacking, as Kerry's newly energetic campaign illustrates. By focusing on the litany of miscues, misappropriations, and missing WMD, instead of trying to subtly illustrate his mindset (because, sadly, this job interview is no place for explanation, but rather for lobotomized gut-punches), Kerry is trying to adjust the Iraq question. Instead of framing it as "Would Kerry fuck this up?" it's moving to "How could Kerry possibly fuck it up more than Bush?" and then to "Who is more likely to confront and deal with what's actually happening?"

Whopundit sez: Pay Carville whatever he wants. He's worth it!

--Fritz

2004-09-23T06:48:00.000-05:00

We're Losing 'Cause We're Winning
Allawi parrots the official spin points

Interim Iraqi prime minister Ayad Allawi, via the NYT:

They are becoming more deadly because we think they are getting more desperate.

That's speaking of the insurgents, of course. And it would almost make sense -- if the Bush administration hadn't been saying the same thing since the war began. Surely, if increases in violence meant we were close to winning a year ago, we'd have won by now?

I'd like just once for a reporter to note that this talking point has been floating around since March 2003. Find a full history of the 'Failure is Victory' doctrine here and here.

This isn't brain surgery, folks. It's public relations.

- Marc

2004-09-22T06:23:00.000-05:00

Resolute
Bush stays true to his agenda

Robbing the poor to give to the rich, that is.

I can barely muster the proper outrage anymore.

Update: 'Republicans Push Ahead to Extend Tax Cuts'

- Marc

2004-09-21T20:48:00.000-05:00

It's a 'Jump to Conclusions' Mat
Everybody else is doing it, why can't Whopundit?

Forget Dan Rather. What if the whole thing was a setup, courtesy of GOP operative Roger Stone?

It is rather suspicious that the White House released copies of the apparently false memos, as George Bush knows better than anyone if the content of the memos was true. Then again, what if the White House wanted the fake memos to get as much attention as possible?

Stone is a Republican who worked on behalf of Al Sharpton in the Democratic primaries. Who can trust a man like that? I'm tired of trying to be rational while the GOP controls the debate. Burn him!

- Marc

2004-09-21T20:30:00.000-05:00

The Keyes to Victory
Sing with me, sing for the years

Messages like this are why I love being on Krazy Alan Keyes' mailing list:

1.8 million supporters that is it, that is all we need to win. A big number you say, you bet, but is it doable? Of course, otherwise we wouldn't be asking it of you. If you do the math, it is simple. We have 7,500 committed volunteers in our database right now. If each of those brings in two new supporters by the end of next week, and then all of those get two more the following week, and so on and so forth, we will have 1.8 million in time for Election Day. The 'Minuteman Program' was designed around this winning idea.

Watch out, Obama! Of course, those 7,500 committed volunteers probably include mailing list gawkers like myself. Or didn't I ever tell you I oppose the 17th Amendment?

It gets better: Convert new supporters and win a Keyes 2004 "soundtrack" CD!

- Marc

2004-09-21T05:40:00.000-05:00

Still Here
Just wicked busy

Sorry for the lack of postage lately. It's a combination of too much outside work (check this Thrills review) and too many things to be disgusted or flabbergasted or amazed by.

In short: Great speech by Kerry yesterday. Did you hear the New York Times and others have quoted Kerry as saying "Who among does not love Nascar" -- a quote which apparently originated in a column by a stand-up comic? And no one who speaks Spanish could be an evil man.

- Marc

2004-09-15T14:32:00.000-05:00

Forgeries to CBS: Drop Dead

Well, now that it's finally proved that CBS blew this Bush-AWOL-document thing royally, can we all finally (FINALLY!) agree one thing: President Bush, who single-handedly won Vietnam from his Air National Guard posting in Alabama, and thwarted the Reds in their march to the Pacific, is this nation's greatest living war hero.

--Fritz

2004-09-14T06:47:00.000-05:00

Mr. Dichotomy
The eternal sunshine of a Brooksy mind

It's nice being David Brooks. Every complex situation in life always seems to break down into two strictly delineated, opposing groups.

In the latest example, I wonder where Bush falls? Brooksy calls the Iraq debate one between "gradualists" and "confrontationalists," but he makes no allowance for "incompetents who got us into this mess in the first place."

- Marc

2004-09-12T09:21:00.000-05:00

Saddam Is on the Loose!
So says the Secretary of Defense

This Los Angeles Times account of a Donald Rumsfeld speech sums up the mixture of arrogance and ignorance that are the best arguments for kicking Bush & Co. out of office:

Defense Secretary Donald H. Rumsfeld mixed up Al Qaeda leader Osama bin Laden with deposed Iraqi President Saddam Hussein twice in a speech Friday.

Rumsfeld also had some choice words about the Abu Ghraib scandal, for which he has said he accepts responsibility, even though no one has made him accept the consequences of that responsibility:

Does it rank up there with chopping someone's head off on television? It doesn't.

Damn those libruls and their moral relativism. (Via Matthew Yglesias and Atrios)

- Marc

2004-09-09T18:05:00.000-05:00

Our Naive Press Corps
Is Howie playing dumb -- or just plain dumb?

Howard Kurtz throws up his blood-stained hands at new evidence our President has lied year after year about his National Guard service:

If the media spend too long wallowing in all this, though, they risk trivializing the election.

No foolin'? Where has poor Pollyanna been for the past few years? Hasn't he heard of earth tones, sighing, inventing the Internet, Love Story, Love Canal, Swift Boats, French-looking folks or windsurfing? We'd like to suggest some introductory reading material for such a political novice as Mr. Kurtz.

- Marc

2004-09-03T09:31:00.000-05:00

The Roman Way

A very disappointing speech. I mean, if you can't bring Osama bin Laden out in chains (or at least in a cage) then wake me when the bloviatings done with.

--Fritz

2004-09-02T20:27:00.000-05:00

Not on My Watch
Whose watch was it, then?

Bush, tonight:

I believe the most solemn duty of the American president is to protect the American people. If America shows uncertainty and weakness in this decade, the world will drift toward tragedy. This will not happen on my watch.

It already happened once. "Bin Laden Determined to Strike in U.S." Usually, when someone's incompetence contributes to the death of thousands of people, they get fired -- not given the chance to fuck up again as their first mistake slips down the memory hole. (Also thanks to Atrios.)

- Marc

2004-09-01T21:12:00.000-05:00

It's Official
No, not the nomination

I'm officially a writer for Pitchfork. Given how carefully and often I critique them on this site, it's almost like Bob Somerby getting a column at the New York Times, or, uh, me having a rap battle with David Brooks.

In that spirit, here's my first bitingly negative review for the 'fork.

- Marc

2004-09-01T11:55:00.000-05:00

With That Dry, Cool Wit, I Could Be an Action Star

I know, I know, he's just some meathead actor married to a Kennedy. I shouldn't take it seriously. But c'mon, have you ever heard a stupider line than Gov. Schwarzenegger's "economic girlie men" line? Fer chrissakes, "girlie men" isn't even his line is it? It's from Hans and Franz, right? Or am I wrong. Secondly, this shit sandwich jobless recovery of an economy and the thought of paying for this debt looming on the horizon like so much California smog is nothing but pessimism-inducing. If your not pessimistic about Dubyanomics then you're not paying attention.

Ugh, can Friday get here already?

--Fritz

2004-08-30T19:48:00.000-05:00

American Beauty
FMA co-sponsor turns out to be gay

Wow. Rep. Ed Schrock (R-Va.) has resigned, "effective immediately." The reason? Certain audio in which he tells a dating service he's looking for a man to go down on.

He was Pat Robertson's congressman and the co-sponsor of the Federal Marriage Amendment. I don't know about you, but it sure makes me wonder if every reactionary right-winger in God's Official Party is really just a self-loathing hypocrite. What a pathetic old man. (Via Atrios.)

- Marc

2004-08-30T15:45:00.000-05:00

American Taliban
GOP stands for "God's Official Party," apparently

Today in New York the chair of the Iowa state Republican delegation offered a revealing glimpse into the right-wing psyche:

Let's remember what's paramount in our life: God ... This is the GOP: God's Official Party.

At that, there was sustained applause, according to this account by the New Republic's Michael Crowley. (Note to those who would use "The Ann Coulter Defense," that this was just a joke: People didn't laugh, they clapped.)

I can't wait until Thursday, when Bush institutes shariah law and declares war on all infidels. That quote represents to me all that is dark and hate-filled about humankind, the cause of self-righteous atrocities from time immmemorial to the Cruades to Nazism. If God is really on our side, He'll save some wailing and gnashing of teeth for the political parties who claim a special relationship with Him: Hezbollah, the Taliban and the GOP. [Via Brad Delong, via Washington Monthly.]

- Marc

2004-08-27T09:24:00.000-05:00

In a Lighter Note...

An unarmed bandit, who goes the name Dick Cheney, is literally robbing local farmers of their produce! He offers $10 bills in exchange for more than $10 in goods in a microcosmic display of what, exactly, those tax cuts were all about.

In a lighter moment, the Cheney tour stopped at a farm stand owned by Ray Levan, 65, in the small town of Catawissa. Cheney and his wife went to buy fruit and vegetables, while daughters Mary and Elizabeth went with the Cheney grandchildren to watch cows being fed.

The Cheneys purchased nine apples, five large tomatoes, three green peppers and a dozen ears of corn. Cheney pulled a $10 bill from his pocket and gave it to Levan. Asked by a reporter whether the $10 covered the cost of the produce, Levan indicated that it did not. But he said it was an "honor" to sell the fruits and vegetables to the vice president, even if at a discount.

"We won the midterms. This is our due."

--Fritz

2004-08-27T08:37:00.000-05:00

Itchin' For a Fight

If you had nothing -- and I mean nothing -- in the way of a record in the past four years as president that you could really hang your hat on; if your biggest accomplishment was called into serious question by the fact that you deliberately doctored the facts or, at best, were hoodwinked by a carnival barker in bank fraud's clothing; if your second biggest accomplishment was having installed a Little League diamond on the White House lawn; if you had been on watch with your thumb up your ass as more and more of your fellow Americans felt the squeeze of our national health care crisis, wouldn't you want to change the subject, too?

Maybe, just maybe, and I know this is a bit of a stretch, but maybe George and Karl messed this country up so bad because they enjoy a good fight. They lollygagged for four years to incite a real challenge from the Dems, because, shit, it wouldn't be any fun to just run up the score on 'em, right? Then, when the story is just how bad you messed things up, it's time to play politics with irrelevant shit. How do you know it'll work? Because when one guy is talking about policy, and there's a really sexy story about faked Navy records and lying veterans, the press can't control themselves and start buzzing around that steaming pile of crap as if they've never seen a steaming pile of crap before.

--Fritz

2004-08-26T10:06:00.000-05:00

The Mother of All Uphill Climbs

I was out of town over the weekened, and missed this poll in Sunday's Tribune. The big news, of course, is just how bad Alan "Baltimore Batshit" Keyes is doing in the polls, down 65-24. That's right, Obama is nearly TRIPLING his lead.

The really delicious parts, however, are how Keyes is doing with the more moderate voters in Illinois. "Fairly conservative" Illinoisians favor Obama 49-40; "moderate" voters favore Obama 76-10!

A quick reminder on the numbers: There are 68 days until Nov. 2; there were 7.1 million registered voters in Illinois in 2000. A quick crunch shows that, for Alan Keyes to reach 50% in the polls, he must convince 27,147 people PER DAY to vote for him. Onward Christian solider!

--Fritz

2004-08-23T14:47:00.000-05:00

Quick With a Quip:
Is Bush funny? TNR says no

Whopundit has long maintained that Bush is not the comedian we've been led to believe. Now The New Republic's Tom Frank agrees, in more detail.

- Marc

2004-08-19T19:25:00.000-05:00

A Couple of Observations:
IRS moves on MoveOn; phony Snow

First, the Bush administration is losing the 527 funding battle, so it's siccing its IRS on the groups. It wasn't enough for Bush to politicize the military, the EPA, the Department of Education, the Department of Homeland Security... now he's gone and politicized the IRS. This time, it's personal.

Meanwhile, your tax dollars pay Treasury Secretary John Snow to traverse the country and spout pro-Bush nonsense.

More Americans are working than ever before, and keeping what they earn more than ever before... all because of the President's tax cuts.

What does that even mean? Listen, you want tax cuts? Cut him.

- Marc

2004-08-19T08:06:00.000-05:00

Pretty, Not-Quite-As-Witty, And Gay
The Hidden Cameras' baroque pop falls short

I still write for Pitchfork. I've almost made it a week!

- Marc

2004-08-18T17:19:00.000-05:00

Sign on the Window
Stark raving mad? Warn your neighbors

Yeah, you're gonna want to print this. Post it proudly.

- Marc

2004-08-17T13:29:00.000-05:00

You Might Be a Batshit Crazy Carpetbagger If...

Do you remember that scene in "Kentucky Fried Movie," in the skit called "Catholic High School Girls in Trouble" where the girl says, "Show me your nuts." And the guy, thinking she said, "Show me you're nuts," does some weird little improvisational hand-gesture oddity and makes some funny noises? Well, it seems that Mr. Alan Keyes has come all the way to Illinois just to show us he's nuts:

Now, you think it's a coincidence that on Sept. 11th, 2001, we were struck by terrorists an evil that has at its heart the disregard of innocent human life? We who have for several decades killed not thousands but scores of millions of our own children, in disregard of the principle of innocent human life -- I don't think that's a coincidence, I think that's a warning. I don't think that's a coincidence, I think that's a shot across the bow. I think that's a way of Providence telling us, "I love you all; I'd like to give you a chance. Wake up! Would you please wake up?"

But wait, the Chicago Sun-Times says that he said that on May 7, 2004. That was literally MONTHS before he was a citizen of Illinois, and, obviously, he wouldn't dare make a claim that Osama bin Laden was acting in full compliance with the wishes of the Lord, would he? No, that's something a lunatic would do.

What distinguishes the terrorist from the ordinary warrior, is that the terrorist will consciously target innocent human life. What is done in the course of an abortion? ...Someone consciously targets innocent human life. As I often point out to folks, the evil is the same.

--Fritz

2004-08-16T07:54:00.000-05:00

Comic Book Store Guy-Next-Door
Prepare to be assimilated

So, I write for Pitchfork now.

- Marc

2004-08-13T12:39:00.000-05:00

We'll Miss You, Julia:

While Whopundit enjoys meatloaf sandwiches and mashed potatoes and gravy as much as the next political-and-indie-music blog, we send out condolences to one of the most influential Americans of the 20th century (in a positive way, for a change), Julia Child. The cooking show pioneer died today at 91.

If you don't think she's worth getting worked up about, just picture a sea of pot roasts, boiled vegetables and maddening blandness, which she parted, Moses-like, with her landmark books and drunken television shows.

Knowing her mostly from her shows with Jacques Pepin, I'm obviously too young to truly understand her accomplishments. But I'm a huge fan of cooking shows in general, and I know that without Child, none of it would be even remotely possible.

When rock stars die, they always say, "God's got a new bassist for His band." Well, I guess He was hungry.

--Fritz

2004-08-13T08:01:00.000-05:00

White House: No Terror Attack Imminent
In other words, it's time to head for the hills

Remember the recent terror alert, and all those unpatriotic media folk and Democrats who implied it might just be politics?

Well, it was, according to one White House official, who also just did Al Qaeda the favor of telling them that if they ARE planning an imminent attack, we're clueless.

But remember, folks: Bush will make you safer. He'll just jerk you around a bit first with meaningless color-coded signals. Because if there's anything Republican politicians know how to do, it's send coded signals about color.

- Marc

2004-08-12T15:39:00.000-05:00

Cheney's Big Applause Line:
Put your hands together... it's The Future

From his stump speech, given today in Michigan and Ohio:

What we're hearing from the other side is the failed thinking of the past, and we're not going back. (Applause)

Yeah, the 1990s really sucked, man. Let's blaze ahead with this post-millennial, rainbow-terror-alert, War on Jobs decade. The '00s are like this really hoppin' bar, and I hope it's never last call!

But please, Mr. Cheney, do you have to keep pretending Bush didn't try to veto the same $87 billion your opponents voted against?

- Marc

2004-08-12T09:58:00.000-05:00

Honey, I'm Home:

Wanna see Alan Keyes' house in Calumet City, Illinois?

He's taking the second floor of this respectably non-descript two-flat on what is reportedly a quiet residential street.

--Fritz

2004-08-10T17:17:00.000-05:00

Summer Lovin'
When push-polling doesn't come to shove

The Bush campaign spread rumors in South Carolina four years ago that McCain fathered a black child. Fortunately, McCain knows who his daddy is, as this photo from the New York Times website shows -- though his ardent embrace verges on romantic, not filial.

Of course, Wonkette beat me to this one. That hilarious bitch. Oh, Atrios, too.

- Marc

2004-08-09T16:43:00.000-05:00

No Deep Thought Left Behind
Those who do, do; those who can't are president

Today's educational tidbit from the Leader of the Free World:

I'm telling you, when you start asking the question, can you read and write and add and subtract, all of a sudden, people start learning better.

Magic! I'd better pass that along to my girlfriend in Teach for America.

Oh, and it gets better:

It's a mediocre system when you quit on kids basically because of the color of their skin, you know?

Gee, when you put it that way...

- Marc

2004-08-08T19:45:00.000-05:00

Take a Look at Phil Now
Postal Service makes Collins -- gasp -- good

I'll post a review later of the forthcoming Wicker Park soundtrack. Suffice it to say, the album aims to be a Singles soundtrack for the indie-rock generation. It doesn't really succeed. (Edit: Um, what the hell is an indie-rock generation, anyway?)

But ever since I first heard of the album, I've been eager to see how the Postal Service would render a Phil Collins cover, "Against All Odds." I mean, Phil Collins? But Ben Gibbard, the singing half of the Postal Service alongside Dntel's Jimmy Tamborello, has already admitted liking cheese-meisters Hall & Oates, so it's not surprising.

Nearly all of Gibbard's work with the Postal Service and his primary band, Death Cab for Cutie, has been nothing less than stellar. So it's not surprising that "Against All Odds" is ridiculously entertaining... and yet, Phil Collins. Wow.

The track begins with bass (and, on my shitty speakers, the ensuing fuzz) obscuring Gibbard's fragile, soft vocals. In this sparse arrangement, the melodicism of Collin's composition -- masked by the original's bombast -- comes to the fore. Tamborello works his magic as the volume turns up, and the song becomes a glitch-laden exercise in futuristic drum and bass.

I can't yet endorse the rest of the album, let alone the movie. But if you can get your hands on this track, do so. (In other words, the Comic Book Store Guy was wrong.)

- Marc

2004-08-05T08:15:00.000-05:00

Dear Alan Keyes:

Congratulations! I hear that you might be my new senator here in Illinois, even though, as far as I know, you've hardly even ever been to Chicago, much less any of the myriad of other, y'know, cities, towns and villages in this fine, flat state.

But I hear that if you come, there is minor issue of your not having any place to live in land of Lincoln. Now, when Hillary ran for senate in New York, some rich friends of hers bought she and Bill a nice big mansion. But you didn't like it. The local paper here in town, the Chicago Tribune, has a quote today that you said, on Fox New on March 17, 2000:

"I deeply resent the destruction of federalism represented by Hillary Clinton's willingness to go into a state she doesn't even live in and pretend to represent people there. So I certainly wouldn't imitate it."

Now, to be fair, you were talking about running in New York, not Illinois. It's totally different, but unfortunately, you don't seem to have quite as many rich friends who are willing to buy you nice big house in Wilmette. If that's true, I might be able to help.

You see, my friend Nora doesn't necessarily need a roommate, but her old one moved out a few days ago. If you think that you might like to run for senate in Illinois and need to establish residency by Sunday, you'd better get in touch with her soon.

I think she might be ready to sign a September 1 lease, and you don't want to miss out on this!

Yours truly,
Fritz

2004-08-04T20:32:00.000-05:00

Cheney, Racial Profiler
The audacity of cynicism!

The Bush re-election campaign demanded to know the race of a photographer assigned to Dick Cheney, the Arizona Daily Star reported yesterday.

In a follow-up today, the Secret Service said the information was necessary in case there were two photographers named Mamta Popat. Apparently, this information couldn't be gleaned from the name, birthdate and social security number that had already been provided.

Similar requests were made of other local news providers, as well, the Daily Star reported. The editor of the Daily Star said she had never been asked for such information before.

So when the inevitable rainbow-colored procession appears at the RNC this month, write letters to your editor reminding them of the Bush adminstration's own questionable racial policies. Remind them that, in the words of Barack Obama, "There's not a black America and white America and Latino America and Asian America; there's the United States of America."

And now, a hypothetical question Obama might pose to the Bush campaign: How many righteous winds does it take to topple a sinking ship?

- Marc

2004-08-04T16:30:00.000-05:00

These Are All Reasons
Is this heaven? No, it's a pro-Bush rally

President Bush ventured to Davenport, Iowa, today in search of supporters. When the people of the corn arrived (hey, I can say that because my girlfriend is from Iowa), he laid out his case for re-election:

Every incumbent who's asking for the vote has to answer a question: Why? Why should the American people give me the great privilege of serving as your President for four more years?

But he'd already answered his question earlier in the speech:

Today I'm going to give you some reasons for you to put me back in office, but perhaps the most important reason of all is so that Laura will be the First Lady for four more years.

Shucks, he's a feminist after all. Seriously, if that's the best he can do, maybe Whopundit should overlook the rest of his speech.

That includes another recycled "fill the potholes" joke, another disingenuous avoidance of his own threat to veto the $87 billion reconstruction money, or his puzzling claim that Saddam Hussein "deceived" UN inspectors (how could he deceive inspectors about weapons that weren't there?).

Why quibble over details, when the President has already conceded that re-electing his wife as a figurehead is more important than anything he could do in office?

- Marc

2004-08-04T08:34:00.000-05:00

Kaleidoscope Sales on the Rise:

So, Illinois' very own Washington Generals, aka our state Republican party, has narrowed their list of senatorial candidates to two. And what a pair of aces! Andrea Grubb Barthwell, a former Bush administration official, had to leave for harrassing a co-worker (that it happened on Dec. 19, 2002 makes it sound like Dr. Barthwell didn't know the first rule office workers everywhere: lay off the cinnamon schnapps at the holiday party; she could just as easily have ended up getting it on in the broom closet) with homophobic taunts involving a kaleidoscope.

So the GOP has conclusively set at least one precedent. Clip this one and put it in your wallet for future use: getting fired for sexual harrassment is less than or equal to asking your wife to have sex with you in front of an audience in an "avant garde nightclub."

The other one, Alan Keyes, lives in Maryland. By Whopundit's estimation, that's at least FOUR STATES and a time zone away. If a candidate instinctively thinks that The Amazing Race starts at 10PM and NFL games start at 1PM, then he doesn't know Illinois. Oh, and he's also balls out crazy.

If the Ill. GOP wanted to illustrate that Barack Obama is far to the left of ordinary Illinoisians, then are a harrasser and a carpet-bagger their best choices? What about just running my neighborhood's statue of the beardless Abe Lincoln?

--Fritz

2004-08-03T06:37:00.000-05:00

Howler Hits the Big Time
Krugman bites the hand that feeds him, again

Check out today's Paul Krugman column to see what I mean (yeah, I know, I hate it when bloggers just give you a link without any context, too -- but trust me).

- Marc

2004-07-31T10:16:00.000-05:00

Brooksy Can't Take His Own Medicine
Uniters with a (D) piss him off

David Brooks has been ranting incoherently on the New York Times opinion page for quite a while now about how Americans should just get along. How we should put aside partisanship and work toward our common goals.

As long as those are the goals of Republicans, it seems.

For while the Great Prevaricator was very, very disturbed by Howard Dean and all those angry masses of people criticizing his President, he's equally disturbed when the Democrats use their convention to try to reach out to the American people and emphasize our similarities:

[Kerry] has to play to the 86 percent of the delegates who say the U.S. should have stayed out of Iraq, as well as the Clintonite foreign policy elites who supported the war. He has to play to the Sharptons as well as the Liebermans.

Well, yes, that's what America is about. Brooksy pretends he's "disillusioned" after reading Kerry's speech, but a better word would be "disingenuous."

Maybe he just knows his guy is going to lose come November.

- Marc

2004-07-30T20:00:00.000-05:00

Kevin Drum Is Brilliant
Bush, Hoover connection grows

Now this is just getting scary.

Herbert Hoover, 1932: "Prosperity is just around the corner."

George W. Bush, 2004: "We've turned a corner, and we're not turning back."

Between this and Bush's new "results matter" line, being John Kerry's ad guy must be the easiest job in the world.

- Marc

2004-07-30T18:20:00.000-05:00

Bounce Wit' Me
Zogby, Kerry get jiggy

Atrios has the latest Zogby numbers. And they're beautiful. Read them, and forget I ever made a Will Smith reference on this site. (Hey, we can't all be Matthew Yglesias and make Rainer Maria references, although I've actually interviewed their singer -- no link available, sorry -- and I bet he hasn't... she's nice). Anyway, Zogby gives me some more audacious, bodacious hope.

- Marc

2004-07-30T16:28:00.000-05:00

Bush: Dems Are 'Clever'!
Swing voters rush to embrace ignoramus

The President has resumed his attacks on Kerry, and man, Democrats are so doomed. Not.

Meanwhile, contrast the Treasury Department's happy talk on GDP with this report from those wacko, outside-the-mainstream, America-hatin' liberals at Forbes (well, the AP, via Forbes... the Wall Street Journal was equally downbeat, but that's subscription-only so I can't link you).

- Marc

2004-07-30T06:45:00.000-05:00

Iraqi Prez Parrots Karl Rove
"Failure is victory" makes triumphal return!

Iraqi president Ghazi al-Yawer says:

The bad guys, the army of the darkness, are getting more helpless and hopeless. That's why they are stepping up these things.

As we reported here and here, the Republican spin point for more than year has been that increased attacks only means the attackers are growing more "desperate."

If the insurgents are really at the end of their rope (and have been since March 2003), why haven't we beaten them yet?

The politics of failure have failed. The Bush administration must make them work again!

- Marc

2004-07-29T21:59:00.000-05:00

It's a Beautiful Day
See the world in red, white and blue

From where I sit, Kerry's speech started a little slow, but he did what he needed to do. And at the end he was pretty damn convincing. I couldn't help but think he reminds me of the Jed Bartlett gold standard of what it means to be "presidential."

The highlight for me was his series of "what ifs" at the end. I actually clapped at his reference to Abraham Lincoln hoping that we are on God's side, as opposed to Bush's cynical belief that God is automatically on his. In the words of Bob Dylan, "if God's on our side, he'll stop the next war."

I'm not sure what it means that Kerry opened and closed his speech with songs by the two much-beloved musicians that completely set off my reactionary music-critic switch. I do think he could have picked a more immediately recognizable, uniting tune than the Springsteen song (was that "No Surrender"?). But "Beautiful Day" is U2 at their best, and even if it's a pretty generic song content-wise, it's insanely catchy and uplifting. He's been using that one for a while, but it remains a wise choice.

Oh: I also love how Obama, Edwards and Kerry all harped on the stupidity of dividing America by red and blue states. Eat that, Brooksy! We don't need to have a rap battle, because John Kerry is going to win, and David Brooks and his fellow experts in divisiveness won't know what hit 'em.

More from Kevin Drum, TalkLeft and Atrios. Help is on the way!

- Marc

2004-07-28T17:25:00.000-05:00

Leave No Fact Unspun
Doesn’t Bush have better things to lie about?

A revealing graf in an already interesting preview of Edwards' speech:

The White House abruptly switched its tune on the Democratic convention, with Duffy saying Bush has been "monitoring closely" and has "watched some of it from time to time" on television. An aide had said earlier in the week that Bush didn't watch on Monday and had no plans to do so on Tuesday.

Steady leadership in times of change, eh? If only the aides tweaking and poll-testing Bush's public stance on DNC-watching were busy making sure the President doesn't dismiss this summer's equivalent of the August 6 PDB... eh, they'd probably just deem it "historical."

- Marc

2004-07-28T09:22:00.000-05:00

Name That Tune

Does anyone know the name of the song that Barack Obama used as his intro/outro last night? It blew the doors off the typically milktoast light FM stuff that politicians favor.

--Fritz

Update: I've read it was "Keep on Pushin'" by the Impressions, with Curtis Mayfield. Can anyone with access to file-sharing software confirm?

- Marc

2004-07-27T21:23:00.000-05:00

Obama Rules!
The audacity of hope

Just go read the transcript (reg. req'd; use bugmenot.com).

The clincher:

John Kerry calls on us to hope. John Edwards calls on us to hope ... It's the hope of slaves sitting around a fire singing freedom songs; the hope of immigrants setting out for distant shores; the hope of a young naval lieutenant bravely patrolling the Mekong Delta; the hope of a millworker's son who dares to defy the odds; the hope of a skinny kid with a funny name who believes that America has a place for him, too.

I thought he went on to say we have a "righteous wind at our backs," but I can't find it in the transcript. Was this ad-libbed? I'll have to watch the video...

In sum, let's quote our usual nemesis, David Brooks, on PBS: "Wow. That's why we are here. To see stuff like that." More from Kevin Drum, Island Dave, Electrolite, Pandagon and Atrios.

I must say, I wish I was still in Illinois if only so I could vote for this guy. Fritz, please vote early and often.

Update: Found it (from this video)!

I believe that we have a righteous wind at our backs, and that as we stand on the crossroads of history, we can make the right choices, and meet the challenges that face us.

- Marc

2004-07-27T20:27:00.000-05:00

Meme-Busting
Bush was against the $87 billion before he was for it

In MSNBC's DNC coverage, Chris Matthews repeated an oft-stated, erroneous Republican spin point. John Kerry said he voted for the $87 billion before he voted against it," Matthews reminded us.

Max Cleland gave a long answer that failed to challenge Matthews' fallacious premise. Americans everywhere are getting spun the same way, and high-paid talking heads are ignorant of the truth. Based on Cleland's example, so are leading Democrats -- not a positive sign. As Dean's candidacy showed, it doesn't matter how united Democrats are if they're unable to coherently stand up for themselves.

The truth, then? Bush threatened to veto the $87 billion before he supported it. In other words, his position was just as complicated as Kerry's. For more, see Bob Somerby's wonderful posts on the topic.

If lowly bloggers understand these facts, when will fancy-pants Washington journalists. Hell, when will leading Democrats? I wouldn't stay tuned...

- Marc

2004-07-27T09:34:00.000-05:00

Pour Him Another One:

Brooksy tells the bartender to leave the bottle in one of his "funny" columns. At least he owns up to what anyone with half a brain already knew about him:

If [Kerry] becomes president, I have to stop being a pundit because I know nothing about politics.

--Fritz

2004-07-26T20:40:00.000-05:00

Peanut Farmer Blasts Brooksy
Is Georgia a red state? Brooks' head hurts

After former President Jimmy Carter's speech tonight at the Democratic National Convention, conservative pundit David Brooks had complaints. He was "disappointed," he said.

Host Jim Lehrer, in an interview with Carter, mentioned Brooksy's worries. Carter's response?

"I'm not surprised that David Brooks would be disappointed with my speech."

Thus proving the adage of my favorite political philosopher, Homer Simpson: "Scooby Doo can doo-doo, but Jimmy Carter is smarter."

- Marc

2004-07-23T14:06:00.000-05:00

Bush Sees the Light
First-name jokes are funny, after all

Bush today:

You know, Marc, you're right.

And yes, I know, I'm using the sort of dumb joke for which I just mocked Bush. But come on, the flip-flop is this summer's Macarena. (Also: Bush used his "fill the pothole" sidesplitter again today. Oh, the hilarity!)

- Marc

2004-07-23T08:12:00.000-05:00

Pitchfork Reviews John Mayer
Fourth horseman of apocalypse sighted

Holy shiat. The comic book store guys have reviewed the mainstream artist every indie music fan loves to hate. Yes, today Pitchfork tackles John Mayer's cover of Radiohead's "Kid A."

I've always thought Mayer was far better than hipsters give him credit for. Besides, it's the job of the music critic to see past marketing and hit singles, right? (Cough, "Your Body Is a Wonderland," cough.)

All told, Pitchfork's review is remarkably positive. But it does reveal how little Pitchfork and its readers really know about the musicians they automatically loathe. In some otherwise-sparkling prose, J.C. implies it's shocking Mayer would even cover a Pitchfork-approved band like Radiohead. He also finds irony in a major pop star performing a song with "pied-piper" themes.

Here's the rub: Mayer has been performing "Kid A" since January 2001, if not earlier. His Sony debut, Room for Squares, didn't come out until September of that year.

So if it's surprising to Pitchfork that Mayer would cover Radiohead, it's just because they've been covering their ears for three years. It wouldn't be the first time.

One final cavil: I'd argue that recording a solo acoustic guitar version of any song from Kid A, let alone one that doesn't even have a guitar part, is taking a pretty big musical risk.

Update: I may have inferred too much from this review. J.C. says the mistake is his alone, not Pitchfork's; other writers (and readers) were "head-snapping" in their haste to point out what I explained above. I rag on Pitchfork enough, so I'll give credit where credit is due: It's a well-done review, and I'm impressed Pitchfork actually would know about an artist who is anathema to their tastes. I guess even Comic Book Store Guys need a little soft rock now and then.

- Marc

2004-07-22T21:36:00.000-05:00

George W. Bush, Comedian
Still searching for WMD, punchline

Today Bush quipped to Mayor George Van Dusen of Skokie, Ill.:

Great first name. (Laughter.) Fill the potholes. (Laughter and applause.)

We've written before that although the media continually remind us how "likeable" or "funny" Bush is, the President actually has all the comedic skill of a dead moth.

Pointing out that someone has the same first name he does, or that a mayor should "fill the potholes," is about as funny as Bush gets.

So he uses the same jokes over and over again. His potholes crowd-pleaser appears 28 times on the White House website alone.

On the other hand, this appears to be the first time Bush has so cleverly seen humor in the fact someone else has his incredibly common first name. We'd like to take a moment to salute Bush for stumbling upon some brilliant new material. May we suggest a punchline involving "John Jacob Jingleheimer Smith"?

- Marc

2004-07-22T13:40:00.000-05:00

Remember When Anthrax Wasn’t Just a Band?
Four spore and three years ago, a new nation

Ottilie Lundgren. Kathy T. Nguyen. Joseph P. Curseen, Thomas L. Morris Jr. and Robert Stevens.

Panic in the mailrooms of D.C., New York, Florida.

WaPo’s Richard Cohen remembers.

- Marc

2004-07-21T16:56:00.000-05:00

Here's the Thing About Always
Flippy to da flip flip-flop, ya don't stop

Today Bush made an interesting statement about his stance on the 9/11 commission.

As part of a long-winded non-answer, Bush says:

I've always said this is an important commission.

All due respect, sir, but no, you haven't.

It's not the first time he's praised something he once opposed, but it might be his first outright lie on this subject. (Even so-called liberals such as the NYT's Nicholas Kristof have written that Bush "avoids the most blatant lies.")

See here for Bush's remarks on the matter back in 2002. And here, from 2003, when he says Iraq is more important than an independent commission, but goes to Clintonian lengths to avoid explicitly saying he opposes such a commission. And a statement of policy calling the now-"important" commission "duplicative." Pour a stiff drink and enjoy!

- Marc

2004-07-21T10:55:00.000-05:00

What Is Sandy Berger's Problem, Anyway?

Isn't it obvious? Speaker Hastert asks the question in a letter:

"What information could be so embarrassing that a man with decades of experience in handling classified documents would risk being caught pilfering our nation's most sensitive secrets? Did these documents detail simple negligence, or did they contain something more sinister?" Hastert said in a statement.

What could be more sinister than Sandy Berger's long running battle with pica?

--Fritz

2004-07-21T07:58:00.000-05:00

Czar Wars
The search for intelligence life

Writing for the Prospect, Matthew Yglesias endorses the idea of a new cabinet-level position overseeing all of American intelligence.

Kevin Drum takes a contrary and, I think, wiser position. Among his points:

Having competing sources of information can be a considerable benefit to a president who knows how to make use of this, and I'm not sure we should rearchitect the intelligence community just because George Bush doesn't seem to be such a president. Electing a better president seems the better option.

I'm no expert, and neither are these guys. But Drum's arguments sound better to me. Why make a little bureaucratic change that may or may not have the intended effect, when the problem may well lie where the buck theoretically stops?

- Marc

2004-07-19T19:45:00.000-05:00

David Brooks Is an Empty Sophist
Just a friendly reminder in case you'd forgotten

Somehow I missed this Brooksy column the other day. But no matter, because now that I read it I know exactly which presidential candidate he's talking about:

This campaign's version of middle-class values is like the Cracker Barrel restaurant version of a small town: a manufactured replica of a wholesome, down-home America that never existed. A realistic portrait of middle-class values would include tattoos, carb-counting and the purchase of voluminous amounts of lottery tickets by people who dream of escaping from the middle class.

He's talking about the candidate who bought a ranch in Crawford, Texas, just in time to run for president, right? The guy who has never had a real job in his life who always plays the populist? The one who fakes a Texas accent that no one else in his family possesses?

Of course, you'd be wrong. Because this is Brooksy. And if your name is David Brooks, then you know that John Kerry is an Evil Hypocrite, whilst George W. Bush is a friendly man of the people, brought to us by God Almighty to deliver us from the evils of Partisanship and Elitists so we can all live together at Wal-Mart.

But wait! After paragraphs and paragraphs on the Sins of the Kerry, Brooksy tosses a half-hearted diss Dear Leader's way: "Both John Forbes Kerry and George Walker Bush — who, let's face it, ain't exactly John-Boy Walton — are going to compete furiously over the next three months to see who is the most spiritually middle class."

Didja see that? He talked bad about Bush, too! He's OBVIOUSLY objective. (Regular Whopundit readers will recognize this perennial Brooks trick.) No matter that the Bush comment came only as an aside in a column otherwise attacking Kerry.

Huzzah, Brooksy! I still await our rap battle -- if you don't break your back first playing limbo with the truth.

- Marc

2004-07-18T13:30:00.000-05:00

Evil Paragraph of the Day
It's still a "recovery" even if only 20% "recover"

I can't believe any rational person would write this paragraph, but the New York Times' Eduardo Porter sure did:

On its own, the decline in workers' wages is unlikely to derail the recovery. Though they account for some 80 percent of the work force, they contribute much less to spending. Mark M. Zandi, chief economist at Economy.com, a research firm, noted that households in the bottom half of income distribution account for only one-third of consumer spending.

The article notes that workers' real wages are going down. Then it makes the obvious point that, yes, the poor spend less money than the people who actually have money to spend. An economist piles on by pointing out exactly how poor much of the workforce is.

But this widespread decline in income is "unlikely to derail the recovery" -- for whom? For 80 percent of the workforce that faces decreasing wages? Or for Porter, Zandi and their cohort?

Bushies think liberals hate America. But their policies show an utter lack of regard for 80 percent of Americans. And even the "liberal" New York Times doesn't give a flying fuck.

This is why I get frustrated enough with the state of the world to pour my thoughts on out a stupid little blog.

Update: More from Kevin Drum and Angry Bear.

- Marc

2004-07-16T16:44:00.000-05:00

Falwell Fucks Up
Tax laws got Al Capone, too

Delicious schadenfreude from the AP:

A religious watchdog group claims the Rev. Jerry Falwell has violated his church's tax-exempt status by endorsing President Bush and urging followers to donate to a conservative political action campaign.

...

In a newsletter sent to supporters July 1, Falwell wrote:

"For conservative people of faith, voting for principle this year means voting for the re-election of George W. Bush."

...

In a document sent to officials at the Republican and Democratic national committees last month, the director of the IRS's exempt organizations division, Steven T. Miller, said religious leaders are strictly prohibited from politicking as spokespeople for the church.

"Leaders cannot make partisan comments in official organization publications or at official organization functions, including official church publications and functions," Miller wrote.

Busted!

- Marc

2004-07-15T22:40:00.000-05:00

9/11, Episode II: Attack of the Queers!
Who's the more foolish: the fool or the fool who follows him?

By now you've probably heard what Pennsylvania congressman and professional bigot Rick Santorum said about the failed Federal Marriage Amdendment yesterday:

Isn’t that the ultimate homeland security, standing up and defending marriage?

Via Brad DeLong, Angry Bear points out the meaning of "ultimate homeland security"; in other words, stopping gay marriage is more important to Rickypoo than capturing Osama bin Laden or intercepting intelligence about possible terrorist attacks.

A picture is worth a grand or so. And Angry Bear delivers the goods:

Santorum would rather stop THIS...

...than THIS.

Oh, Rick. You're a beautiful boy on a beautiful dance floor. And I like you even less than I like Scottish poseurs Franz Ferdinand. There, I said it.

- Marc

P.S. Am I allowed to say "queers" these days? I read it all the time in the Village Voice. But then, I'm not that hip. Feel free to flame me (am I allowed to say THAT?) if I'm being insensitive.

2004-07-15T20:10:00.000-05:00

Damned If You Do...
Why even get out of bed in the morning?

Matthew Yglesias makes a chillingly depressing (and correct) point:

So if we are attacked again, what do we do? Law enforcement and intelligence work, AL suggests, which I think is right. But the current tenor of the political campaign strongly suggests that hawks are afraid John Kerry will offer a merely law enforcement and intelligence oriented response to future attacks. See what I'm getting at?

Um, I'm going to get back to enjoying life and going to Disney World. That's too much for me to think about. Let's hope Kerry has a better answer to this than mine, which is to curl up in a fetal position and hope an Evan Dando-like drug buddy will walk in and make everything OK. I know a place that's safe and warm...

- Marc

2004-07-14T14:06:00.000-05:00

File Under: Not Really Surprised

Just follow this link, print, carry in your wallet, and disperse as needed whenever you see those freshly scrubbed lads and lasses downtown trying to recruit you to sign up Nader to get on your state's ballot. Then ask them why they are so into him. Honestly, what's the appeal of Nader at this point, and who are these volunteers? I understood it when he was the Green Party candidate (and I voted for him, in fact, in uncontested New York State). The Greens have a network of tie-dyed old hippie ladies and Birkenstocked college chapters and everything. But Nader running as a complete loner? Are all these volunteers I see Ralph's nieces and nephews?

--Fritz

2004-07-14T09:52:00.000-05:00

Feeling Foxy

Wonkette has published 30 emails, leaked by the makers of the documentary "Outfoxed," from Fox News chief John Moody to his staff. The emails purported prove the top-down direction of the news coverage of, specifically, the recent War in Iraq. And dammit all if they don't.

Whopundit reports (okay, okay, technically Wonkette reports). You decide.

Fritz

2004-07-13T20:52:00.000-05:00

If It Feels Good, Lie About It
Bush: My fellow Americans, go Cheney yourselves!

Bush just kept yapping in Marquette, Mich., today:

We're changing the culture of America from one that has said, if it feels good, do it.

Cheney's explanation for his silly little curse word:

I expressed myself rather forcefully, felt better for having done it.

B-b-b-but -- but -- Bush said that's not a good reason to do things! Holy cognitive dissonance, Batman.

Maureen Dowd, as usual, captured the situation a few days ago with the cleverest wit: "Hey, if it feels good, Dick, do it."

- Marc

2004-07-13T20:41:00.000-05:00

Et Tu, Mooch?
As if destroying the 49ers wasn't enough...

I thought only I hated Detroit Lions coach Steve Mariucci for presiding over the re-mediocritization of my beloved San Francisco 49ers.

Then I read Bush's remarks today from Marquette, Mich.:

I appreciate being introduced by Steve Mariucci. (Applause.) Yes! Do you know what he said to me? He said, you get reelected, and I'm bringing the Lions to the White House. (Applause.) And if anybody can lead that group of men, he can. He's a fine man. I'm proud to call him friend. I know you're proud to call him citizen of the UP. Thank you, Steve, for coming. I'm proud to -- proud you're here. (Applause.)

Mooch, you've got some 'splaining to do. And did I mention you're a really crappy coach?

- Marc

2004-07-13T19:09:00.000-05:00

Rock Over London, Rock on D.C.
George Walker Bush: the next Wesley Willis?

Today PopMatters published my review of Bushspeak, a new CD of Bush's "curious wit and wisdom."

The gist:

In the annals of outsider recordings, an obscure Texas poet named George Walker Bush seems poised for canonization.

Like Daniel Johnston or Wesley Willis, Bush possesses an austere naïveté. His malapropism-ridden words open up worlds of expression that more technically proficient artists can never duplicate.

Unlike other childlike performers, however, Bush laces his whimsical self-expression with dark humor worthy of Joseph Heller, paranoia reminiscent of Franz Kafka, and enough fear and loathing for another Hunter S. Thompson book.

The truth will set you free.

- Marc

2004-07-12T19:06:00.000-05:00

JFK Echoes JFK
Kerry waxes surprisingly eloquent

Today Kerry said the single best thing I've ever heard him say:

[T]he job of the presidency is not to look for the lowest common denominator of American politics by which you can divide and win for a few; it's to find the highest common denominator of American politics and unite and win for the many.

Savor that. Something about the cadences, the sentence structure, and, yes, the substance echoes some of the sentences that we look upon as our cultural heritage as Americans.

Think "Ask not what your country can do for you..." or "We hold these truths to be self-evident."

It's a far cry from our current president's most memorable locutions, ranging from "dead or alive" to "bring 'em on" to "fool me, you can't get fooled again."

Wow. If Kerry keeps talking this way, perhaps the pundits on high will let him shed his "Anyone But Bush" label and acknowledge that, yes, Americans can get excited over John Forbes Kerry. Mr. Bush, meet History.

- Marc

2004-07-12T07:06:00.000-05:00

Republicans for Bigger Government
The paradox of social conservatism continues

From a New York Times article today on gay marriage:

"The political side of the gay marriage conversation is once again, John Kerry says something and his words are just empty," said Nicolle Devenish, the communications director for Mr. Bush's re-election campaign. "He says he thinks marriage is between men and women, but he has never backed a policy to make that so. He has never once supported a policy to make it law."

Isn't that the whole crux of this election? Bush is against abortion personally, so no one should be allowed to have any abortions. Bush is against gays personally, so no gay person should ever be allowed to be in love. Kerry has beliefs about these issues but, as a responsible adult, is able to set his personal convictions aside to keep the ship of state sailing smoothly and justly.

The point is, if you want a president whose every passing whim will become enshrined in the Constitution to deprive you of your liberty, vote for Bush. He may take our lives, and he will also take our freedom.

- Marc

2004-07-11T23:42:00.000-05:00

My Letter To Herr Krauthammer
Doc, stop self-prescribing, you quack!

Re: this hate-filled column

Dear Sir,

You feign concern that liberals cannot fall on a single specific reason for Bush's using 9/11 to launch a misguided war in Iraq, a war that once again today yet another body has confirmed was begun under false pretenses. Fair enough -- if your mind is too little to follow the many possible reasons, that's all too human.

Yet you have no such troubles with the "anti-American left." Why, exactly, do you assume that Michael Moore hates America? I cannot speak for all of his points, and I certainly have major problems with various moments in his films. He's an entertainer, not a political figure, and that's certainly part of a disturbing trend.

But let's imagine, you and I, just for a moment, that the liberals who criticize your beloved President do so not because they are anti-American but because they are JUST AS PATRIOTIC AS YOU. I know, that may be shocking. Unless you are just faking your vitriol.

If liberals are patriotic (bear with me, cowboy), then perhaps you can see how they would be upset that, in such a dangerous time, an American President took advantage of our precarious situation to put us in even greater danger. Our troops are over-extended in a country that had no WMD. Afghastian is still chaotic; the Taliban still commits attacks.

How exactly does one condemn as "anti-American" attacks on a president who has made America less safe?

Say what you will about Hans Blix. I'd say picking on his statements just proves how small-minded you are. Bush has said far crazier things, and he's actually important. Lay off the Kool-Aid....

Best,
Marc
http://whopundit.blogspot.com

(More from Kevin Drum)